Untitled
by Seer Wing
Summary: Things are still awkward, he's not going to lie, but the two of them seem to have fallen into an almost half-normal friendship and he's not going to ruin that over a passing fancy. Because that is all this is - all it can be - a passing fancy. It's happened before. Numerous times. And it's never worked out in Thomas's favour. Why should this time be any different?


Things are still awkward, he's not going to lie, but the two of them seem to have fallen into an almost half-normal friendship and Thomas is glad for that, because despite all that has happened, he is still truly fond of Jimmy, for reasons he can't quite explain. Maybe it's because Jimmy is rather like Thomas at that age, and it figures Thomas would fall for someone like himself; his mother always did tell him that he was far too self-absorbed.

Not that it matters all that much anyway; Jimmy hasn't mentioned ... the incident since before Christmas, and it certainly won't be Thomas who brings it up. Jimmy is the first real friend he's had in a long while - even if the tentative friendship is somewhat strained at times, given Thomas's new position - and he's not going to ruin that over a passing fancy. Because that is all it is - all it can be - a passing fancy. It's happened before. Numerous times. And it's never worked out in Thomas's favour. Why should this time be any different?

What does it matter if he sometimes finds himself watching Jimmy as he works, finds himself lost in those dazzling blue eyes, finds himself dreaming of that night and of what might have happened had Jimmy returned his affections? What does any of that matter when Jimmy most certainly _doesn't_ return his affections - almost had him sacked because Thomas allowed himself to dream that he might. No, Thomas is not in love with Jimmy – will not _allow_ himselfto be. It is nothing more than a passing fancy and nothing that Thomas cannot deal with. This friendship with Jimmy – it is more than enough.

He almost fools himself into believing it, too. He almost dares to hope that – for once in his life – he could have something normal. Then Jimmy goes and spoils it all.

"_I need to speak with you."_

It's a busy night with a dining room full of guests, and Jimmy is gone as quickly as he appeared, serving tray held high as he passes Ivy on the stairs, a backwards glance and the almost imperceptible nod of his head the only indication that he had spoken at all. Thomas stares after him with anxious eyes, the faint twinge of jealousy as Jimmy grins at Ivy giving way almost immediately to the panic. He knows it's highly irrational – stupid, really – to panic over such a thing, but … well, he came close to losing his job once and he doesn't intend to allow it to happen again.

Alfred passes not a moment later with his own serving tray, startling Thomas out of his daze, and he returns Alfred glare-for-glare before slinking back to his room. He isn't needed tonight, not for now anyway, and he enjoys the quiet.

Rationally, he knows that Jimmy has no reason to quarrel with him – he's not aware of having done anything to offend the man … recently, at least. He knows his general attitude tends to offend people on a regular basis … but Jimmy appears to have grown used to his ways now, and he's certain he hasn't done anything _too _terrible lately. He knows this, but it doesn't stop him from worrying. He doesn't want to lose this tentative friendship they've struck up … doesn't want to lose Jimmy.

It's late when Jimmy knocks on his door, and he's had time to calm himself down, reminding himself that he is still Jimmy's superior and that it is perfectly normal for the man to come to him for advice.

Jimmy, on the other hand, seems to have forgotten this. When Thomas takes a moment to answer the door, busy schooling his features into something resembling nonchalance, Jimmy invites himself in, turning to bolt the door behind him before he leans back against it to regard Thomas with an almost nervous air.

Thomas doesn't have to feign the irritated frown, "Did you want something, _James_?"

Jimmy fidgets, and Thomas's expression softens ever so slightly. He can be cold sometimes but he's not outright cruel.

"What is it?"

Jimmy's expression is pained, "I-" He begins, then stops and frowns, his face flushing.

Thomas doesn't rush him, though the wait does nothing for his rising panic.

"It seems …" Jimmy starts again, his face still an interesting shade of red, "It seems I may have been somewhat _hasty_ in my assessment of my … feelings. For you."

They're standing just a few feet away from each other but Thomas takes a half-step forward, laughing nervously. The panic has all but dissipated, leaving behind nothing but raw confusion, and he has the baffling sensation of knowing less now than he did before, "I - I'm not sure I follow."

Jimmy's pained expression only worsens at his words, "Don't. Don't make me say it, Thomas."

Thomas jolts in surprise. Oh - that's new. From the day they met, he's been 'Mr. Barrow', and in recent months simply 'Barrow'. He doesn't think Jimmy has once called him by his given name, and he can't help but feel as though it must mean something now …

"Oh." He's surprised he manages to get any sound out at all; he feels rather light-headed, "Oh." His says again, eyes wide as they take in the flush of Jimmy's cheeks, the way his hands fidget nervously with the buttons of his coat … the bolt of the door behind him, _"Oh!"_ He can't help the satisfied smirk that slips onto his face as he begins to stalk towards Jimmy.

Jimmy, who rolls his eyes, "Don't get cocky, Barrow, I still haven't forgiven you for assaulting me."

Thomas hums, just inches away now. He stops there, content to just look with what one might call wonder, his good hand twisting into Jimmy's slicked back hair. Jimmy's lips twitch into a smile that Thomas can't help but mirror with his own as Jimmy reaches for him, pulls him into a tentative kiss.

So maybe he is in love after all.


End file.
